Wednesday, February 12, 2003

Chaos theory and the Hindu marriage

This morning, I was watching Al Roker talk to this guy on NBC’s Today show. He was apparently 43 and was still single. He was ranting about how bad it is to be single at this advanced age and how difficult it is to get dates in New York when you are over 40. He has put up a huge hoarding up in front of Rockefeller Center (where the Today show is taped/telecasted from), which says something to the effect that he has a free sports car for any girl willing to marry him. His email id is printed in huge lettering on this hoarding and he is hoping that someone would contact him. I didn’t quite catch his name though. So if any of u guys reading this, have seen the video and have a URL for it, do mail it to me. He was not exactly bad looking (I am not…ahem.. what you think here…) so I am sure he would be successful, but I do have a faster way of solving his problems.
You see.. I am from Chennai, a part of India where it is believed that matches are made in heaven as opposed to the "Bars of New York" (yeah.. its a spoof on "Gangs of New York") fundae. Yeah right… if Indra was a marriage broker living in one of the myriad locales of Triplicane / Mylapore / Beasant Nagar. But anyways, all he (lets call him X) needs to do is to talk to Katie or Matt or Al to introduce him to one of the interns at NBC’s Today Show. Now I don’t want to divulge this intern’s name, but her boyfriend happens be a graduate student studying with me. Now she takes his card and passes it on to her boyfriend who passes it on to me. What I do is, just pass on the card to my mom who works in Chennai. No.. my mom is not a marriage broker. But her workplace apparently abounds in this type, because according to her, scores of marriages get finalized due to people from her workplace. Apparently she just needs to make about 10 copies of his card and circulate them among her colleagues and bingo… guy’s is married. Sometimes I wonder where India would be if such industriousness could be translated to performance in governance.
In case you are wondering how passing along cards in Chennai makes things happen in New York, you just have to take cognizance of the fact that you are now living in a age where the flapping of a butterfly’s wings in the Amazon rain forest causes a Tsunami in suburban Honshu. Well, thats Chaos Theory in a nutshell for you..I am digressing here. But the fact is the cards would in all probability reach someone whose close relative (may be a son or a daughter or even a first cousin) works somewhere in Boulder, Colorado or Nashville, Tennessee. The card now changes hands again and reaches the shores of USA back again where more copies will circulate than ever. And bingo…. The guy’s married.
Even if you cannot appreciate this argument, you will definitely agree to the fact that the chances that the guy would get married increases exponentially with the number of people that his card reaches. What I am suggesting above is something that makes ingenous use of the august conglomerate that is responsible for the Hindu marriage to increase the number of people with access to this guy’s card and hence his chances of getting married in this lifetime.
(P.S. So your question is.. why am I doing this? There is this old Tamil saying that if you help out in getting people married, then your marriage plans come out smoother. I am not ready to be married now, but then I don’t want to be stuck here ogling at the latest cover of FHM all my life either. )

And now for the Quote of the Day....
"Do thou restrain the haughty spirit in thy breast, for better far is gentle courtesy." (Homer)

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